What is one supposed to do with terrible Red Delicious Apples? The internet weighs in.

I belong to a food forum.  It is great, and intimidating, and great.  I love seeing what other home cooks are struggling with.  I like to see what they’re eating, and where they like to take shortcuts.  It makes me feel simultaneously great and terrible about myself.  There is something magical about http://www.chowhound.com.

Anyway.  Craig’s company gives half-bushels of enormous red delicious apples to each of their best customers.  The problem with red delicious apples is that they’re shit.  They’re full of one dimensional sweetness.  I may be a bit pretentious about apples, but really, no sane person would choose a red delicious for anything.  Stymied about what to do with them this year, I turned to the internet. I usually core, peel, and dehydrate them, but they still suck. Strange how something shitty going in turns into something shitty going out.

dog eating an apple

The best suggestions from the internet included feeding them a)chickens, b)horses and c)cows.  The remainder of the suggestions involved trying to add some level of flavor to them via cranberries, lemons, adding them to pork, or cinnamon.

I decided on the most reasonable option.  Feeding them to animals.  But the animals that I have access to that enjoy apples include dogs (my brother in law has some amazing chickens, but apparently they don’t like apples 😦 )

So I took one of the apples to see how it went over. Turns out, acceptably.  I cut an apple in half and gave half to each of the dogs.  Boris (the one with the floppy ears) hates almost anything other than meat.  Helo (the fluffy one with the pointy ears) likes eating anything other than meat.  Really.  He loves kale.  And he steals sweet potatoes from the pantry when we’re not home.  Because I’m pretty sure he would just eat carbs all day if he didn’t eat real food.

dog eating an apple

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