Pet Peeves

I’ve been accumulating piles of things that bother me for a while now…. This is more of an ongoing list than anything else, but it’s gotten long enough that I figured it’s probably time to post it, and start over 

Word signs – When people put words/phrases all over their house. Your “Live, Laugh, Love” art is not original, and do you really need that in your house to be reminded to do so, or does it truly make you happy?  To me, it looks silly and generic.  It says “I didn’t know what to put here, and since I have no creativity or vision at all, I bought this pile of shit from Marshalls so my house looks exactly like every other mid 00’s tract house inside AND outside.

The “family” stick people stickers on the back of cars.  If you have more than 3 children, I’m probably judging you. If you family is zombies, it’s still not funny. I see a PT Cruiser on my commute with a vinyl grumpy cat cutout that says “Grumpy cat hates your stick family.”  I have tried multiple times to get clear photos to no avail.  If I can find a sweet deal, I want to get one woman, and like 20 cats and put them on my back window.

I actually took this photo… I walk by this house every now and again when I’m out with the dogs.  It amazes me every time.

People that mumble things multiple times.  When I ask you a third time what you said, please make an effort to say it a little more clearly.  I’m uncomfortable asking you to repeat yourself multiple times but I’m also unable to proceed with the conversation until I understand what you said so I can reply without looking like an asshole.  It’s called common courtesy.

When you act surprised that I got out of the car I was sitting in to let you know that I noticed that you slammed your car door into mine.  Either you’re so oblivious to the world that you didn’t notice the door that you heftily swung open coming to an immediate halt upon hitting my paint, or you did and you’re lying about something that both you and I noticed… which doesn’t get you anything and serves to make you look like an imbecile or a total douche.  Neat.

When you come ask me for help with a phone/computer problem, then proceed to speak over me supposing what it might be while I try to give you a few ideas/ask you questions to get a better understanding of the issue.

Your Pinterest pins that link to nothing more than a hastily uploaded photo (not a blog or website) or a google image search. I could see if it’s just a picture of a blue room (which is still annoying because I obviously want to know WHAT COLOR blue it is!), but the most annoying ones are for stuff like baked goods that require recipes or something like “DIY Black Bean and Twine Coasters” which obviously necessitates some level of instruction.

Is it that difficult to remember the sex of the animal you’re dealing with?  Generally dogs and cats have gender-specific names.  Even if they don’t, use your brain.  It becomes instantly obvious that you are so self-involved that you cannot devote even the smallest amount of brain power to remembering whether the dog you are talking about is a boy or a girl.

Red Velvet Cake.  Lightly cocoa flavored buttermilk cake with a gallon of red dye?  Why not just have a lightly cocoa flavored cake that doesn’t turn your mouth, plate, and poop red?  I’m sure anyone would be happy to make you a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting.  I abhor how many people seem entranced by something as stupid as artificial red dye.  Red Velvet Cake is nothing more than the Blue Raspberry Slurpee of the pastry world.

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