Confession – I’m a slob

I’m messy. I have no problems admitting it. And while my world of seeming disorganization may make a great many people nervous, it’s who I am. I’m also a procrastinator. In college, I waited til the day before a 12 page paper was due to start researching it. I got a 3.5. That’s pretty much how I’ve been for my whole life. I like the thrill and the pressure. I work better under a little pressure. Things tend to click, and knowing that something HAS to work gives me a little more incentive to make it work. Strange, I know. I have gone into this diatribe because I am certain that it has something to do with my messiness. Throw a little chaos into my life and I thrive. I like a challenge. And finding ANYTHING in my kitchen is certainly a challenge.

Here are my drawers. (Not THOSE drawers, you sicko.)

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Ok, so my silverware drawer isn’t that bad. Except for the 2 boxes of toothpicks that somehow exploded in the back of that drawer and are now scattered everywhere. I have my silverware & chopsticks (I keep getting pairs of chopsticks as gifts for some reason. I have like 6 pairs that I never use except to poke things with or stir coffee in my french press, or mix melting chocolate. I suppose I use them all the time, just not for conveying food to my mouth. I’m not very graceful and chopsticks usually necessitate a very long meal. ). And my knife sharpener/other stuff sharpening stuff. I LOVE my knife sharpener. Just tonight I watched an episode of The Tudors while I sharpened all of my knives. Then I touched up my vegetable peeler and cheese slicer.

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This drawer is the one that’s dangerous. While there is generally a method to my madness, and I can usually find something in a pile of everything in no time flat (I tend to catalog things’ locations in my brain), this drawer never ceases to confound me. There can be something at the top of the pile that I just put away 5 minutes ago, and it’ll take me well over a minute of digging through the damned thing to find it! I’m also a gadget junkie. Have you noticed? This is my MAIN gadget drawer, I have another one that I store thermometers and less commonly used items in. Mostly because I forget the drawer is there. Strange.

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The towel drawer is fairly self-explanatory. I have straws in here also; I couldn’t come up with a better place to store them. My large kitchenaid mixing attachments go here so they don’t get tangled up with my other gadgets, you’ll see 2 dough hooks and 2 whisk attachments. Plus of course towels, and the cardboard cover that my chef’s knife came with, which I grab in case I’m travelling and cooking. Nothing worse than cooking in an unfamiliar kitchen with a dull knife!

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Last but not least, my food storage and coverings drawer. It’s so well organized 😉 because I just took out an empty box that housed gallon freezer bags and haven’t bothered to dip into my stash in the laundry room for another one.

Onto the Pantry!!!

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This is the most organized storage area of my kitchen. Sad, right? That’s because the hideous pantry doors are almost always open, because I’m almost always cooking, thus needing to access the pantry. What you can’t see is the 10 lbs of regular rice, the arborio, brown rice, yellow and white cornmeals, quinoa, fruit basket, pastas, crackers, storage containers full of crap that I never use and should probably throw away, whole wheat, all-purpose and bread flours, granulated sugar, oatmeal, pasta machine, broken kitchenaid that I can’t bring myself to throw out and the majority of the liquor. I’m kind of making myself sick to my stomach looking at this picture.

I’ll also have you know that this is a trait that I picked up from my parents, both of them. They (and now “we”) have a tendency to overshop. My dad was raised Mormon, and my mom was raised somewhat Mormon, and they both kept the propensity to be “prepared.” I like to have enough around that I can throw something together even if I haven’t been to the store in a week (like that EVER happens). My stepmom, Kim, is the exact opposite from this. She gets a great deal of satisfaction out of using the last bit of mayo and recycling the jar, and paring the contents of the fridge down to nothing but condiments. Me on the other hand? I panic. On memorial day weekend, we brought some food up to “the cabin” and when we got back late Sunday night, I realized that the fridge was starting to look naked (read: what normal peoples’ fridges look like.) So I woke up at 7:30 the next morning, and went to the grocery store in my pajamas and spent $70. WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH EGGS TO MAKE PANCAKES!!!!! THE HUMANITY!!!

Alright, so you’ve seen my pantry, but have you seen my SECOND pantry? Yes, I have a second pantry. It’s actually just a closet in our hallway across from our linen closet. I was GIDDY about the size of the pantry in this house and was so glad that we’d have more than enough storage for everything kitchen related that we have. But I quickly filled the kitchen with my gadgets and had to start finding other places to stash them. It’s a sickness. And I use every last one of them. Except for maybe my muffin tins. I don’t really like cupcakes and muffins are pretty much just cupcakes without frosting. Anyway, I started by putting a huge casserole dish and a couple of serving pieces in there, then my salad spinner, and then I bought a cake pedestal and didn’t have a good place in the kitchen to store it, so it went in there. And I got a cuisinart for Christmas from my lovey dovey future hubby. That went in the closet as well.

I’m also one of those foil hat people that try to be somewhat prepared for a disaster of some sort. Obviously you cannot be prepared for every disaster, but it makes sense (at least in my paranoid mind) to have some spare food and other supplies in case something happens and distribution to stores is affected. And my mom’s crazy like me too. Just this week she emailed me to tell me that she had bought a series of books on preserving and storing foods, and she got me the same series, so we’d each have copies and could work on preparation. I also use heirloom seeds in my garden. Just in case. And I know how to make cheeses and use salt and cultures to aid in lengthening the life of stuff like meats and dairy products. I’m a good person to have on your team during a zombie apocalypse disaster. Ok, so I’m going to show you the closet now. Please don’t stop reading my blog and think I’m nuts and messy. I mean, you can think that, but please don’t stop reading. The name of the blog is Home in DISARRAY!

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Are you still there?

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Top shelf: Magic cards, first aid kit that Mommy put together for me(I use it ALL THE TIME. I’m incredibly accident prone.), the greatest casserole dish of all time, a spiffy bowl, a white serving platter, the top to my cake transporter, and a bag of hypodermic needles and syringes. I’m not a junkie, I use them to inject butter into turkeys.

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Second to top shelf: Bottom to cake transporter, cake pedestal, food processor, salad spinner (these things take up a TON of room!!!), a bunch of food storage container lids, and a quart of paint that I’m going to use to prime a canvas for a modern art project. I ♥ you Martha!!!

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Middle shelf: What this closet was originally storing; board games, microfiber towels, the iron, heating pad, tea lights, and then some kitchen overflow. Potato chips, biscotti, food storage containers.

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Bottom Shelf: Costco Land! Flour, canned chicken, pasta, mayo, bbq sauce, dry cure (for Makin’ bacon!), tortilla chips, tea, ramen noodles.

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And….. The floor: TONS of canned tomato products. That’s one thing that doesn’t grow exceptionally well in my garden, and stays great in cans for a long time. The whole left wall of this compartment is tomatoes. Refried beans. We live off of them in our house. Canned soup, pears, mustard, chocolate chips, LIFE cereal, fiber bars (oh how I love thee), dried mangoes, and Costco has Hop Czar back. Certainly not an exceptional IPA, but good enough, especially for the price.

I bet now you feel good about how organized you are, don’t you?

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